Unintentional Absence

Wow! The past two weeks have been pretty tough. The first week I simply could not concentrate on writing anything, as my stepson and grandson were at home the whole entire week. Why is it that children are absolute monsters when their parents are around, but behave great when they are not? Anyway, it's a poor excuse, but I really, truly could not concentrate on writing anything, nor could I even think clearly with a constant stream of whining, Mickey Mouse and having to yell at my dogs, since they aren't used to a house full of people either. The dogs are the opposite of a child. When it's just them and me, they are great. Add one more human in to the mix and they think they don't have to listen.

Last week I had to prep for my third scope in 6 months. I will be honest, this is really starting to freak me out. Normally I am a pretty calm person, and I handle all the medical stuff in a calm, nonchalant manner. Not this time. I don't know if it's because I have had so many scopes in such a short amount of time, or if it is because I just don't seem to be feeling any better in spite of medicines and surgery. They did both an upper and lower scope this past Wednesday. The good news is that the lower scope looked good. On the upper scope I know they took some biopsies from my stomach. I think the fact that it is my stomach is what has me freaked out. I have only been able to eat a few bites of food at a time lately, and that is if I can even get food down at all. As humans, our minds automatically go to worse case scenarios, which is what my mind has been doing ever since this last Wednesday. I have a history of stomach ulcers, so I'm sure that this is probably what it is again.

I have one more test to do, and I'm going to call today to see if I can do it this week, as I don't want to wait two weeks until I get my biopsy reports. This time I get to swallow a pill cam. It is literally a pill with a camera inside it! I'm terrible with swallowing pills, and this thing is the size of a horse pill! It should be interesting to see if I can get this thing down me.

I know that I need to have faith that all will work out as planned. I am working on staying positive and not let this disease get the better of me mentally. I write this for people to understand what it is like to live with Crohn's Disease. To help make people aware that this is a very real illness. That it interferes with your life in multiple ways. I am not equating it to cancer, but in many ways it can be just as devastating. I'm thrilled that they are finally going to start working on what causes Crohn's instead of just working on medicines to help control the symptoms. So if you see me out and about, and think that my Crohn's Disease is not that serious just because I look good on the outside, please consider what it is doing to my insides.

Until next time.....
Remember to LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE!
C